Quotes
“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.”
- Voltaire
“Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche
“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”
- ee cummings
“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”
- Lynda Barry
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”
- Robert Heinlein
“Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.”
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
“There is a very fine line between love and nausea.”
- James Earl Jones’ character, Coming To America
“We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.”
- Robert Wilensky
“The trouble with weather forecasting is that it’s right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.”
- Patrick Young
“Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
- Henry Ward Beecher
“When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’”
- Theodore Roosevelt
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”
- Plato
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
- Thomas Szasz
“It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it.”
- Robert E. Lee
“Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don’t add up.”
- James Magary
“One has to go into relationships with both parties equal,ready to give as much as one another — -not with one person wanting a quick fling and the other wanting real love. And I think that’s where all the agony comes from, that there’s an imbalance, where people are just not sure enough of themselves or what they want out of life or whatever.”
- Alain de Botton
“Here’s to love, life and the pursuit of whatever makes you happy.”
- Me
“Only the educated are free.”
- Epictetus, Discourses
“Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.”
- Douglas Adams
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
- Groucho Marx
“There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.”
- Homer, The Odyssey
“A man’s homeland is wherever he prospers.”
- Aristophanes, Plutus
“The juice was worth the squeeze.”
- The Girl Next Door
“Women: can’t live with em, can’t shoot em.” (Relax, I’m joking)
- My Father
“I’d rather be happy than right any day.”
- Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
“You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.”
- Michael Pritchard
“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
- Douglas Adams
“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”
- Unknown
“Never frown because you don’t know who is falling in love with your smile.”
- Unknown
“Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.”
- Blaise Pascal
“There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking.”
- Alfred Korzybski
“A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon”
- Napoleon Bonaparte
“Thought’s infidelity lies in it’s privacy — -‘If there is something that you cannot say to me,’ asks the lover, ‘things that you must think alone, then am I truly in your heart?’”
- Alain de Botton
“If a man does his best, what else is there?”
- General George S. Patton
“So long as there are men, there will be wars”
- Albert Einstein
“I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.”
- John Cleese
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”
- Eric Hoffer
“To be pleased with one’s limits is a wretched state.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.” - PG Wodehouse
“When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.” - Sir Winston Churchill
“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.”
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
“When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.”
- Benjamin Disraeli
“Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.”
- Malcolm Forbes
“Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.”
- Jules Feiffer
“The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”
- Voltaire
“Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.”
- Putt’s Law
“The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.”
- Sophocles
“If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.”
- IF Stone
“Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.”
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
- Leo Tolstoy
“Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”
- Mark Twain
“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”
- HL Mencken
“Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn’t.”
- LL Henderson
“People find life entirely too time-consuming.”
- Stanislaw J. Lec
“Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.”
- Kurt Vonnegut
“When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.”
- Thomas Szasz
“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”
- Jimmy Buffett
“Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.”
- Italian Proverb
“The wise man will love; all others will desire.”
- Afranius
“How helpless we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire!”
- Belva Plain
“If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it.”
- Brendan Francis
“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.”
- David Viscott
“Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.”
- Erica Jong
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
- Henry David Thoreau
“He who is in love is wise and is becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
“But love is blind and lovers cannot see The pretty follies that themselves commit; For if they could, Cupid himself would blush To see me thus transformed to a boy.”
- William Shakespeare
“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.”
- Robert Frost
“Ninety percent of everything is crap.”
- Theodore Sturgeon
“If the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me”
- Jimmy Buffett
“I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we’re closed. You don’t have to be sorry. It’s 3a.m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I’m not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.”
- Mitch Hedburg
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.”
- Edith Wharton
“A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.”
- Daniel Webster
“A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”
- Thomas Mann
